Image management does no favors and that illusion needs to be dismantled. Depression is a serious and often chronic illness. This is for anyone who needs some hope in this moment.
I’m not entirely sure why it’s referred to as “the dark night of the soul” when they tend to last days on end, if not months. Many, including myself, have experienced those dark, isolating, numbing, despairing times in life where we smile through pain and give the impression everything is fine. It hasn’t been. Depression does not discriminate. It doesn’t matter how spiritually fit you are or others assume you are — that water gets cold and dark and damn lonely.
Every negative thought and false belief about yourself or your circumstances adds more weight and causes you to sink. Before long you find you’re at the bottom, entangled, drowning. You think you have no keys to unlock your chains and that you are a victim to your situation. You can barely hear those atop the surface shouting “use what you have…what you know…what is True” but you are exhausted and out of air, hoping it all fades to black and there’s no more struggle.
Yet there is the tiniest, most faint voice that says “try…just try”. Fumbling for keys you grab borrowed hope. *click* the lock opens.
Borrowed love. *click*
I love you. *click*
You can do this. *click*
We need you. *click*
Don’t give up. *louder click*
I don’t want to give up. *louder click*
I believe. *louder click*
I am capable. *CLICK*
I am willing. *CLICK*
I can. *CLICK*
Willingness has a vibration. Where there is vibration there is voice. Where there is voice there is hope. Where there is hope there is momentum. Where there is momentum there is action. Where there is action there is life.
In this moment I encourage you to take the risk that things will get better. In this moment I encourage you to choose life. In this moment, simply by putting words to what you’re feeling, allow that recognition to make things a little lighter, a little optimistic, and a little like you’re starting to unlock your way toward the surface. For anyone out there right now having this experience, allow me to be the voice of that first key for you. Use it, please. It gets better. In time, it gets better.